I’m embarassed to say, I pulled a DYKWIA

a table and chairs outside a restaurant

a table with a umbrella and chairs in front of a windowUnfortunately, some frequent travelers think everyone should just magically know who they are (Don’t You Know Who I Am).  Usually I am not one of those, but when I was checking in at the Cheyenne Mountain Resort for BAcon I had this experience:

Bell Man: Are you checking-in?  You can park your car over there
Me: Isn’t this the valet stand, I was hoping to valet
Bell Man: Yes, this is the valet stand, let me help you with your bags.

I go to the front desk and check in, then leave the main building to head to my building

Bell Man: I hope you enjoy your wedding
Me: (confused) I’m not here for a wedding.  I’m here for a travel blogger conference.  You might want to be on your best behavior this weekend since the hotel will be swarming with travel bloggers and we will all review this hotel online.
Bell Man: I’m sorry, did I say something wrong
Me: I’m sorry, that came out wrong I guess.  I was just trying to give you a heads up.

…Everyone on the entire staff seemed to know my name and refered to me as Ms. Alexander the entire weekend.  Maybe they just do that anyway, but I felt awkward, especially when actual professionals were there for the conference.


  1. Wow… not sure I would ever repeat that story in public. I think it’s important to show respect to get respect.

    1. My tone was sincere, not condescending. I wasn’t telling him to treat me better, but some of the bloggers there write hotel reviews that are quite influential. I was giving him a heads up about them, not about me.

  2. Not to be argumentative. But why tell the Bell man that? He didn’t do anything wrong to receive a warning. I mean let’s be honest its sounded more like a threat, which is why he asked if he did something wrong and likely why you felt guilty about something that was probably a coincidence.

  3. “You might want to be on your best behavior…” No matter what tone you used, that sounds very condescending and he must have thought so too since he apologized and asked if the said something wrong. I would never think of telling an employee how to act or what to do. Just telling him about the conference would have given him the “heads up” you intended.

  4. Did you really say that to the bellman? Yikes.
    They may have called you by your name when they saw you but I bet they had a different name for you when they talked about you when you weren’t around.

  5. Classy. Why read trip reports where these bloggers warn the hotels ahead of time “to behave, because we are travel bloggers!”

  6. Even if you are just giving him a heads up on the blogger conference, it defeats the purpose of a genuine review of a hotel. How can we the public trust the blogger’s review when employees at that hotel were extremely nice due to them knowing there was a blogger conference?

  7. I agree with the above posters as well.

    “I’m here for a travel blogger conference. You might want to be on your best behavior this weekend since the hotel will be swarming with travel bloggers and we will all review this hotel online.”

    To now say that “I was giving him a heads up about them, not about me” sorta defies logic. You just included yourself in the group twice.

  8. There is no good way to phrase it. If you tell them you’re a blogger, at worst you come off condescending and at best you bias the experience so the review is not trustworthy.

    Next time: “Thank you, but I’m just here for a conference.”

  9. the comments were all valid.

    it was a condescending remark and the cover-up that it was a “heads-up” is a lie.

    there is no point in warning the staff since the bloggers were meant to assess the quality of the place; warning the staff defeats the purpose of the review.

  10. you may want to be on your best behavior, or people will STOP reading YOUR blog!

    1. This surely won’t make any friends. Have you considered writing a written apology?

      1. Tim2, that’s the best suggestion in these comments. I will do that.

        Also, if they are going to claim to have valet he should have told me to go park myself when I’m waiting at the valet stand.

  11. Well,I agree with the comments, but you did honestly share this, so I’d say that makes up for the slip, can happen to anyone. To publicly admit you made a mistake and blog about it, takes courage, so 1+ for that. Thanx.

  12. Well, you did say it came out wrong. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a good example of why you should be DYKWIA or not, though. 😛

  13. The “inconsiderate” bell man offered you the option of saving some money by parking the car yourself. Why wouldn’t a simple “I’d prefer valet parking” have been a sufficient response? What a knuckleheaded comment you made instead.

  14. Hardly a tough crowd. Just another blogger with no sense of her own insignificance. I am travel blogger hear me roar…..puh….leeze….

  15. I am on the give Grace a break and look at it from, at least my guess anyway, from her point of view. You have almost 50 people who tweet, blog and are looking for “fun” things to post about. The resort people were truly amazing. As we walked up, that is me, MJ & Lisa, 5 people must have welcomed us and we had a great stay. But, that said, if I worked there, it would be good to know 50 bloggers were floating around with twitter happy fingers!

    1. Thanks, Delta Points. If you worked in a hospital and someone warned you that Joint Commission was there you’d thank them, right? If you worked in retail and got a heads up that a mystery shopper was there you’d be appreciative, right? I haven’t heard one bad thing about the way Cheyenne mountain hosted our event. That could be their business as usual and I applaud them for that. They also just got a lot of positive press from a wide variety of bloggers who probably wouldn’t have stayed there unless they had a $15 mistake rate. I’m glad they got positive reviews than negative.

  16. I don’t think it was the content, but rather the method of delivery.

    Maybe “No I’m with a travel blogger conference that’s here for a few days” instead. Let him read between the lines, rather than “You might want to be on your best behavior”. That’s a little more like talking to you children.

    Everybody sometimes says things that don’t come out as intended. They just don’t end up telling about it.

  17. At least you are embarrassed for having pulled a DYKWIA!

    And confession is good for the soul. 🙂

  18. After Grace was out of earshot, the unfortunate peon was heard to exclaim, “See you next Tuesday!”

  19. Don’t care much about the slip up and think a written apology is silly. You might want to do some inner work though, it’s a bit like when Michael Richards (Kramer) went into a dark place. It’s not “bad” to come off like a tyrant, usually it means there’s a kingly (queenly) quality in you that you’re otherwise not comfortable with. king:light::tyrant:dark. if you were acting kingly, it’s not superiority as much as it is noble benefactor. you’d have been more congruent with your response and be less annoyed by your fellow man. It seems your confabulation about the “heads up” speaks to this kind of sentiment. If you were more subconciously there, you’d have engaged him differently and not been threatened or threatening. Or so goes the Jungian thought.

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